Stress. Eustress.
💌 Letter #11 – ⏳ 4 min 30 sec
Eustress (/liːd/): /ø.stʁɛs/
The word stress comes from the Latin stringere, “to tighten, to stretch, to constrain,” a root that evokes the pressure applied to a body or mind before an ordeal. The Greek prefix eu- (εὖ) means “good,” “right,” “favourable.” By contrast, the prefix dys- (δυσ-), found in distress, expresses difficulty, imbalance, what stands in the way.
Eustress therefore refers to positive stress: the same tension which, instead of crushing or freezing you, puts you in motion and helps you move forward.
Dear you,
You called me a few hours before going on stage at the Web Summit, where you were about to present your product and strategy in front of nearly three hundred people: your clients, partners, CEOs you admire, and several well-known investors. A moment of exposure you had been waiting for. A moment where you wanted to “shine”.
And yet, as the time approached, something in you dropped. You felt “irrationally stressed.” You kept looping, telling me you were afraid of reliving what had happened the last time you spoke on stage.
So I simply asked what had happened.
And you told me everything: the blackout, the disappearing words, the blurred vision, the inner collapse, the “bug.” That silence you experienced as endless, though it lasted only a few seconds. For those who listened, the incident wasn’t even an incident. For you, it had been a trauma. And now it was resurfacing.
I asked you to take a deep breath. When your diaphragm softened, when your heartbeat slowed, when I felt you grounded again, I asked you this question:
“Right now, what do you fear the most?”
You didn’t hesitate.
“Messing up. And I can’t. I have to succeed. It’s super important. I have to be clear, inspiring, reassuring, and I have to live up to the role and the trust the team and the board have placed in me. It’s my duty as a CEO.”
I have to. Duty. All that language of injunction caught my attention. What if your stress came from there? What if, by replacing duty with desire, you unlocked a completely different dynamic for your 2:30 p.m. talk?
I suggested a small exercise: start not from what you had to do on stage, but from what you wanted to convey.
Your energy shifted. You were focused and quiet. Something was moving inside. The words emerged slowly: you wanted to convey enthusiasm, confidence, and steadiness. Not because you had to, but because you wanted to.
I asked if that changed anything. You said yes, “it changes everything,” because in preparing so hard for this moment, you had forgotten the essential: remembering why - and for what - you had wanted to be on that stage in the first place. And remembering it brought back “the desire to go.”
To anchor that renewed confidence, I invited you to project yourself onto the stage. To imagine your entrance under the lights, the noise of the room, your place on the platform. To see yourself speaking while embodying the emotions you wanted to transmit: enthusiasm, confidence, steadiness.
You took that moment. A few minutes later, you said: “I’m ready, go.” And you were.
That evening, you sent me a message: “It went really well.” I was glad. And I thought that next time we meet, I’ll remind you of the power of a tiny internal shift: moving from duty to desire; shifting from a state of distress – that negative stress that freezes and crushes – to a state of eustress, that positive stress that stimulates, mobilises, and carries you forward.
Eustress or distress. One tiny Greek particle, and everything tilts. And since you will never erase stress from your life as an entrepreneur, I invite you to choose the form it takes, and the particle you attach to it. Let it become a reflex. Or better: a reuflex. :)
Take care,
Adri
